Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't mean I don't still have to do the processing. I know you're sorry you're late. You've broken a small social contract, and sorry should be enough to mend it, but it's not the social contract that is troubling me. You're sorry you didn't let me know that plans had changed. You … Continue reading I’m sorry…
Being diagnosed late in life has meant that I've needed to learn a lot about a new subject that I didn't know applied to me. I've read personal accounts written by autistic people, I've read research papers, I've looked into coping mechanisms - and mostly found that I've built my own solutions over the years … Continue reading Neurotypical Awareness
I saw a post today by a parent of an autistic child. It was reaching out. Reaching out for people. It spoke about the loneliness of being a neurotypical parent who wanted to connect with the people around her, but who put her autistic child's needs first, because they couldn't cope with the interactions. I … Continue reading To the lonely neurotypical parent…
I can't speak for your child. I keep coming back to this. I can't speak for everyone. I've had a lifetime of people assuming they know what I think by my actions. Assuming that they know who I am at a glance. People still make assumptions. When I write things, those who don't want to … Continue reading I don’t speak for your child
Coping strategies are important when you're autistic. Sensory issues can be eased by stimming, headphones, dark glasses. Stimming distracts from negative information, creating positive sensations that make it easier to deal with an influx. Headphones and dark glasses reduce the amount of information our brains have to deal with. For me they all fall … Continue reading Bottle-necking
This morning my car wasn't happy, so I took my son's go-kart-in-car's-clothing on the school run. He's not passed his test yet, so it has Learner Plates on it. And oh how they make a difference to how other drivers behave around you. Most people give you a bit more space, just in case … Continue reading Labelling
Autistics and Neurotypicals are a perfect pairing. My husband is neurotypical. I'm autistic. Relationships aren't always easy, but there's something about our pairing that works. When we first got together, there were many miscommunications. They started with my blunt "I like you, I find you attractive." Which he assumed couldn't be fully genuine, because people … Continue reading Cobwebs: Autistics and Neurotypicals
There have been a few articles of late about the under-diagnosis of women with autism. I've spent a lot of time nodding along. After-all, I'm late-diagnosed. I was raised with no acknowledgement of my sensory and processing issues. I'm one of the lost generations, lucky enough to be found. But sometimes the rhetoric behind it … Continue reading Hiding or Ignored?