If the world were built for me

If the world were built for me there would be no start times or end times, there would just be the work that needed doing and the space in which to do it.

If the world were built for me no one would ever assume poor eye contact meant low trustworthiness.

If the world were built for me there would be a time each day when we all stood outside alone, to soak it all in in silence.

If the world were built for me everyone could see the barbed edges of crowds and understand the pain.

If the world were built for me everyone would consider how their actions affect those around them.

If the world were built for me my fingernails and hair would never need cutting.

If the world were built for me we would all work based on our strengths and passions.

If the world were built for me people would know how to empathise with those who think differently to them.

If the world were built for me labels would be banned from clothes and socks would be made with the seams on the outside.

If the world were built for me stopping to notice something beautiful would be the least weird thing anyone could ever do.

If the world were built for me we would all be a little kinder and more interested in learning about our differences.

If the world were built for me direct language would be seen as clear, and never as rude or blunt.

If the world were built for me people would run on time and do as they promised.

But the world isn’t built for me. It’s built so that I am the one who has to adapt. I am the one who has to learn unnatural speech patterns and arrange my face correctly. I am the one who must quash my fear as an unexpected change uproots reality all around me. I am the one who must bend and shape myself, and hold that shape forever for fear of being found out.

This world can work in ways that mean we can all be exactly who we are. I hope we find a way.

22 thoughts on “If the world were built for me

  1. If the world were built for me and others on the spectrum, we would be the writers of our own stories and have control over our health. Yes, I did compose a poem using those words as the title.
    If the world were built for me, I might finally feel free
    To be the person I am deep inside.
    All my life I’ve played along, even though it felt so wrong
    Doing what the normals wanted- but they lied.
    “Take a tablet for me” said the man with a degree
    A psychiatrist by trade- a “Dr. Freud”
    But he had my mother fooled-my thoughts were overruled
    Antipsychotics I just could not avoid.
    I’ve been hurt, misunderstood and made to feel no good
    All because I didn’t fit in with my peers
    But bullying’s not right- teachers couldn’t see the light
    Some were bullies too-causing anger and tears
    Even my family never fully accepted me
    My grandmother was the very worst of all
    A bigot to the core- one day I said: “No more!”
    Avoided her when she would come to call.
    Yes, how easy it would be if this world were built for me
    Full of more people who truly understand
    Accept difference, condemn hate- finally understand our state
    It’s not that hard to lend a helping hand.

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  2. I wrote that poem in the middle of the night, when the first line came into my head and I needed to write it down before it was forgotten. Once I’d done that, it only took a few minutes to write the rest. It all just poured out. The last time I did that was three years ago, when my friend Bronwen died of cancer. I’d been asked by the family, who had seen some of my poetry and liked it, to write something for the funeral. A bit of a challenge, but for some unknown reason I managed it. I didn’t read it out myself- the funeral celebrant did- but I might have ended up crying if I’d attempted it. It still had a powerful impact, which seems to happen with poems that only takes a few minutes to write. I’ve heard singer-songwriters describe the song-writing process, saying “This song only took a few minutes to write”. When I hear the song they’ve mentioned, I think: “No wonder it’s a good song”. Anything that only takes minutes to write seems to flow better than when you labour over it forever.

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    1. I so agree with both of you, my best writings were always The ones that flowed like a river out of my pen or keyboard. The others have been more contrived and less heartfelt, and they take longer. That was a powerful pome you shared above, just as the main poem of this post. If the world was built for me… People would see what they mean and mean what they say. There would be less hate and more compassion.

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  3. Thank’s for the poignant thoughts. It’s so difficult to explain, isn’t it, because people tend to listen but not to hear; words register by listening however feelings don’t by not hearing. At 81 I’m resigned to continue to being misunderstood. A consolation is a wonderful relationship with my little, autistic African friend, which I put down to being autistic myself, and watching his development through art. He has a kind and affectionate nature with not hint of aggression which is refreshing to see in a little child.

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