Silliness

I'm hiding in the kitchen. I should probably admit that up front, just so you don't think I'm someone I'm not. Family have come round. I'm tired. There was this sudden feeling of proximity and being encroached upon. I have made my excuses, and am hiding. I don't want them all to stop interacting and … Continue reading Silliness

New Year’s Eve

Here I go again. Travelling off to see people for New Year's Eve. Quite the social butterfly. I'm sitting, strapped down, wings tucked in, as we race through the windy, Welsh roads. All corners. Welsh roads skirt every obstacle, and when your country is built of valleys carved by water and its wayward passage making, … Continue reading New Year’s Eve

Eventful Autism

Winter is a time of events and social quandaries. This year I have been kinder to myself about ensuring I get some recovery time. It's so important. Such a huge part of self-care. At a party I'm often coping at my limits. I suddenly feel like I'm made of corners, I'm aware of every angle … Continue reading Eventful Autism

Friends

It's hard to make friends when you're a grown up. Plenty of neurotypicals struggle with it, it's certainly not just autistic people who find building new friendships hard. The problem with building friendships, is that you have to invest time and energy in people, in the hopes that you will like them, they will like … Continue reading Friends

Autism in the Winter

I love the winter. Spaces that summer warmth fills with people, are emptied by North winds. Faces and voices are muffled by scarves and hats. Expressions are muted. People hide away in homes, or collect together in arranged huddles at Christmas markets and concerts. Groupings are pre-arranged and less organic. I'm less likely to fall … Continue reading Autism in the Winter

The Princess and the Pea was Autistic

I remember reading the story of the Princess and the Pea as a child and thinking, "I'd notice the pea". For anyone who doesn't know the story, it's a tale in which they proved someone was a Princess by placing a pea under a huge tower of mattresses. When the girl in question didn't sleep … Continue reading The Princess and the Pea was Autistic

Happiness

Everyone's searching for happiness. Everyone. We've got a world which tells us that if we could just live here, own this, wear this, holiday here, have these friends, have this job, and on and on and on, we would be happy. As an autistic rule follower I was lucky that I grew up in a … Continue reading Happiness

Mirroring

There are two types of mirroring, one is instant (whether conscious or not) and the other is delayed. I remember reading up on interview techniques in my early 20s (always researching). There was a chapter about the importance of body language. It talked about mirroring and how mimicking the interviewer's body language would make them … Continue reading Mirroring

Hyper-focus

Perhaps the functioning labels aren't so bad, if they could just be applied to me at different times. It's been a month of ups and downs, of achievements and limits. I have gone from the high energy and hyper focus of high-functioning-Rhi, to the shutdown and inability to do the simplest of tasks of low-functioning-Rhi, … Continue reading Hyper-focus

Success

They say success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration; well I've got perspiration. I've got perspiration coming out of my ears! ... Where was I? Oh yes, my sweaty, sweaty ears. But what happens when that perspiration and inspiration mean you hit your limits before you've completed the requisite socialisation? Sweatier ears for a start. … Continue reading Success