I can be really rubbish to myself sometimes. The only thing worse than a Monday Meltdown is the accompanying feeling that I really should have grown out of this. I should have grown out of reacting to a sudden change in my week’s plans. I should have grown out of needing to prepare carefully for … Continue reading Monday Meltdown
Category: social exhaustion
I am Finite
As an autistic adult I am aware that everyday things drain me. I have built a balanced life but that doesn’t mean imbalance doesn’t have its place too. “What I can cope with is immense. If you could feel it and stay standing you would be in awe of autistic people.”
We All Need to Work More Autistically
The other day I was at work and was hit by a revelation. It had been nagging at me for a while - I could feel that something had shifted. But I never would have predicted that I would be facing the world of work with a social advantage due to my autism. I’ve had … Continue reading We All Need to Work More Autistically
Virtually Accessible Interviews
Almost three years ago to the day I wrote about a gruelling interview process that took me months to recover from. Reading through it recently it struck me how different my experience of interviewing has been during the pandemic. It’s not a perfect process and I don’t want to pretend that it’s easy, but in … Continue reading Virtually Accessible Interviews
Lockdown Limits
I’m lucky. I’m enormously lucky. I keep telling myself this, because it’s true. In many ways my life is very similar to my normal day-to-day world, but the pattern has changed completely. I have less time to write and be creative than I normally do, the helpful social media posts about how much we can … Continue reading Lockdown Limits
Imperfectly Autistic
Five years on from an autism diagnosis, what has changed?
Recovering my Autism
It’s been a stormy few days. There’s been a strong wind pouring in over the sea and I’ve been watching the birds fight and fail to fly into it. First a flock of starlings gave in and threw themselves down to cling to the branches of an ash tree, then the rooks made a passable … Continue reading Recovering my Autism
New Things: Autism
A few weeks ago I was deep in the throes of writers’ block, and in a moment of madness booked myself onto a writing course to try to stimulate my words. I don’t necessarily need a course in writing, I need to know the rules better, I need something I don't seem to have at … Continue reading New Things: Autism
Autistic Exhaustion
Being autistic brings various challenges and joys with it. I adore my hyper-focus and passions, but I loathe the inevitable misunderstandings and sensory bombardments. I am a carefully balanced human. I know that things that won’t be stressors to other people will be problematic for me. I know that spending time in a group will … Continue reading Autistic Exhaustion
Low Functioning
I’m having a bad day. I move slowly. I wash my hands and feel my fingers slide over each over, caught in the fascination of how slowly I am taking things in. I usually flash from one thought to the next, but that’s gone now. I am in treacle. I keep getting stuck on things. … Continue reading Low Functioning
Autism and Expectations 