I am Finite

As an autistic adult I am aware that everyday things drain me. I have built a balanced life but that doesn’t mean imbalance doesn’t have its place too. “What I can cope with is immense. If you could feel it and stay standing you would be in awe of autistic people.”

We All Need to Work More Autistically

The other day I was at work and was hit by a revelation. It had been nagging at me for a while - I could feel that something had shifted. But I never would have predicted that I would be facing the world of work with a social advantage due to my autism. I’ve had … Continue reading We All Need to Work More Autistically

Virtually Accessible Interviews

Almost three years ago to the day I wrote about a gruelling interview process that took me months to recover from. Reading through it recently it struck me how different my experience of interviewing has been during the pandemic. It’s not a perfect process and I don’t want to pretend that it’s easy, but in … Continue reading Virtually Accessible Interviews

Meltdown

This week I had my first meltdown in a really long time. The cause was poor communication from an organisation. It included unclear plans, a changing schedule, not being informed of those changes, and concluded in a social lie that is supposed to be an acceptable way of communicating, but is actually really painful. There’s … Continue reading Meltdown

Taking or Leaving the Mask

I am a guilty masker. I’ve always masked. It’s a complex creation with different weights and different angles. Each occasion has a different variation of it, a different material, a different pattern. I have my work mask; professional, straight-backed, walking tall. She has a specific amount of makeup and specific hair. She keeps her outlandish … Continue reading Taking or Leaving the Mask

An Open and Fair Interview

There have been various intangible variables floating on my horizon, and they have been draining my reserves. I usually use those reserves to share and enthuse, and I have missed doing that.   I’m going to share something difficult. I am a perfectionist and hate to get things wrong. I am going to share a … Continue reading An Open and Fair Interview

Hyper-focus

Perhaps the functioning labels aren't so bad, if they could just be applied to me at different times. It's been a month of ups and downs, of achievements and limits. I have gone from the high energy and hyper focus of high-functioning-Rhi, to the shutdown and inability to do the simplest of tasks of low-functioning-Rhi, … Continue reading Hyper-focus

Autism and Work

Below is an account of a time when other people's poor communication, and my lack of understanding of myself, led to me having to leave a job for the sake of my health. Workplace bullying isn't restricted to autistic people, but it is very common. A perfect storm of social expectations, misunderstandings and being misunderstood, … Continue reading Autism and Work

I would have built robots

When I was little I wanted to make robots. I was going to be an inventor. Robots were the future, they were going to be everything, and I was going to design them. I'd spend ages drawing pictures of different tin-cans with claws and wheels and springs. I remember being frustrated that I didn't know … Continue reading I would have built robots