I can’t

I’m ruminating on something small that happened this week. It was so small that I suspect it passed by unnoticed by everyone except me. It wasn’t big or important but it shone a light on my weaknesses in a way that I hadn’t been anticipating. I have far bigger challenges and far more pressing obstacles, … Continue reading I can’t

Recovering my Autism

It’s been a stormy few days. There’s been a strong wind pouring in over the sea and I’ve been watching the birds fight and fail to fly into it. First a flock of starlings gave in and threw themselves down to cling to the branches of an ash tree, then the rooks made a passable … Continue reading Recovering my Autism

Autistic Heroes

It’s hard not to watch Greta Thunberg speak without being overcome by two things; the first - and strongest - is admiration, and the second is envy. I don’t envy her the criticism she has had levelled at her. I don’t envy her the comments made by those who have no clue whatsoever about autism. … Continue reading Autistic Heroes

Autistic Exhaustion

Being autistic brings various challenges and joys with it. I adore my hyper-focus and passions, but I loathe the inevitable misunderstandings and sensory bombardments. I am a carefully balanced human. I know that things that won’t be stressors to other people will be problematic for me. I know that spending time in a group will … Continue reading Autistic Exhaustion

Trying to make the World a Better Place

I haven’t written anything for a while - my literal side wants to correct that; I am constantly writing: I have been writing emails and blurbs and all sorts of things to get people to engage and want to see my writing, but I haven’t been writing. What is it about the marketing of creativity … Continue reading Trying to make the World a Better Place

Mental Health: Autism

I take my mental health very seriously; I’m an autistic perfectionist whose favourite pastime is self-criticism, so I have to. I have the additional issue that if someone’s praise of me is implied rather than explicit, it doesn’t exist, which makes my mind a perfect-storm of self-doubt. I am someone who takes great pride in … Continue reading Mental Health: Autism

Finding your Polytunnel: Autism

What on Earth has a polytunnel got to do with autism? What even is a polytunnel? What are you talking about? Is this a tangent too far? All fair questions, and all with answers - tangential as they might be. I’m writing this from my polytunnel. It’s a ten metre, steel-framed structure covered in some … Continue reading Finding your Polytunnel: Autism