Demand Avoidance and Katherine May

I spend a lot of time trying to get one over on myself; sneaking around the back so I don’t work out what I’m up to until I’m too late. As soon as I feel like I have to do something, I run in the other direction. The worst thing about it is that the … Continue reading Demand Avoidance and Katherine May

The Average Autistic

There’s a line in my play, The Duck, that I keep mulling over. It says, “File it away for later; the things for me and the things for the rest of the world - the unreal and the real.” It’s something that haunts my memories of being a young autistic girl. I needed to learn … Continue reading The Average Autistic

Finding your Polytunnel: Autism

What on Earth has a polytunnel got to do with autism? What even is a polytunnel? What are you talking about? Is this a tangent too far? All fair questions, and all with answers - tangential as they might be. I’m writing this from my polytunnel. It’s a ten metre, steel-framed structure covered in some … Continue reading Finding your Polytunnel: Autism

Ten things Autism isn’t…

I was going to write about what autism is, but as I wrote it transmogrified into what autism isn’t, so here is my list of what autism is not:- 1. Autism is not being socially awkward It’s not awkwardness. Autistic people are often excellent at socialising with each other, where they can avoid eye contact, … Continue reading Ten things Autism isn’t…

Autistic Gifts

Christmas, for me, is about showing the people I love how I feel about them. It’s a time when it’s okay to build routines, because we can call them traditions and that makes them indisputable. One of the things I learnt when I found out I was autistic, is that when I get terribly run … Continue reading Autistic Gifts

Neither Use Nor Ornament

It’s been a funny old year, and it’s not over yet.  Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in hiatus? That’s how I’ve always felt. I’ve constantly been waiting for life to begin; constantly holding off for things to happen; constantly thinking, ‘Once I’ve finished this bit, I can start doing that bit’, but that’s … Continue reading Neither Use Nor Ornament

Hiraeth for Autism

Hiraeth pronunciation:- Hi - The Hi from Hiccup Rae - pronounced the same as the wry of a wry smile (if you pronounce wry with a rolled 'R', but let's not overcomplicate) Th - The Th from Think   Hiraeth is an untranslatable Welsh word. It’s often described as homesickness or a sort of nostalgia, … Continue reading Hiraeth for Autism

Autism Aware

In January I decided that this was the year that I would step outside my comfort zone. The secret to being able to do that, is first you have to build a comfort zone from which to step.   Being an undiagnosed autistic woman meant that I lived in the desert. I was permanently outside … Continue reading Autism Aware

Sensory Seeking

I am a sensory seeker and always have been. As a small child I was never without my comfort blanket, as I got older I was never without my scraps of “the right sort” of fabric, which I would rub between forefinger and thumb. The texture would have to be “right” and the “rightness” has … Continue reading Sensory Seeking