I am Finite

As an autistic adult I am aware that everyday things drain me. I have built a balanced life but that doesn’t mean imbalance doesn’t have its place too. “What I can cope with is immense. If you could feel it and stay standing you would be in awe of autistic people.”

The Token Autistic

During Lockdown Number Two (the sequel to the ever-popular Lockdown Number One) I started writing a story for my daughter. I’d write a chapter during the day whilst she was homeschooling and then later on we’d snuggle up and I’d read it to her. It was our thing and it was lovely. Then the world … Continue reading The Token Autistic

Autistic Turbulence

The last couple of days have been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I am a hive of activity and then a still, mountain lake. I’m either overachieving or motionless, really happy or distraught. In the past few years when I’ve been like this it’s always been pointed out to me, but due to too … Continue reading Autistic Turbulence

If the world were built for me

If the world were built for me there would be no start times or end times, there would just be the work that needed doing and the space in which to do it. If the world were built for me no one would ever assume poor eye contact meant low trustworthiness. If the world were … Continue reading If the world were built for me

Autistic Pride

Today is Autistic Pride day and I am contemplating what that means to me. My journey since discovering I was autistic has been one of ups and downs. I’ve had a lot of rethinking to do, a lot of processing, a ridiculous number of times exclaiming, ‘Oh that’s why I reacted like that; it was … Continue reading Autistic Pride

Demand Avoidance and Katherine May

I spend a lot of time trying to get one over on myself; sneaking around the back so I don’t work out what I’m up to until I’m too late. As soon as I feel like I have to do something, I run in the other direction. The worst thing about it is that the … Continue reading Demand Avoidance and Katherine May

The Average Autistic

There’s a line in my play, The Duck, that I keep mulling over. It says, “File it away for later; the things for me and the things for the rest of the world - the unreal and the real.” It’s something that haunts my memories of being a young autistic girl. I needed to learn … Continue reading The Average Autistic

Finding your Polytunnel: Autism

What on Earth has a polytunnel got to do with autism? What even is a polytunnel? What are you talking about? Is this a tangent too far? All fair questions, and all with answers - tangential as they might be. I’m writing this from my polytunnel. It’s a ten metre, steel-framed structure covered in some … Continue reading Finding your Polytunnel: Autism

Ten things Autism isn’t…

I was going to write about what autism is, but as I wrote it transmogrified into what autism isn’t, so here is my list of what autism is not:- 1. Autism is not being socially awkward It’s not awkwardness. Autistic people are often excellent at socialising with each other, where they can avoid eye contact, … Continue reading Ten things Autism isn’t…