My autism isn't just what you can see on the surface.
This is something that has been bothering me lately, it has made me angry with myself for missed opportunities. It has meant that when I have reached out at times, I have fallen at the first hurdle. I'm talking about falling for Leading Questions. They deserve to be capitalised. They are repulsive things, tricksy and … Continue reading Leading Questions
My husband always says you can find me in the logic. My actions are always reasoned. There's always a clear pattern to follow. What that meant, before I knew I was autistic, was that all of my logical conclusions about who I am were deeply flawed. That I misjudged and misconstrued both my own motivations, … Continue reading Autism is the Key
When I first got my diagnosis of autism, I was assured by the experts that nothing was different. I was still the same me that had walked through the door. And I agreed. When I told family about my diagnosis, I told them it didn't change anything, I was still me. And they agreed, When … Continue reading Safety Nets
Why now? What brought me to diagnosis in my thirties? It began with a random article. It was about the under-diagnosis of autistic women. I had no particular reason to read that particular article. It just sounding interesting. It was just there. As I read, a tingly feeling started in the back of my neck. … Continue reading Diagnosis, Rain and Tractors
Since being diagnosed with autism in my mid-30s, I've been re-thinking a lot of things. I've spent a lifetime of trying to appear to be the same as everyone else. I've been watching. I've been studying. Every book, article, overheard conversation, brings me that little bit closer to passing for normal. I've spent a long … Continue reading Re-thinking things through an Autistic filter