Meltdowns

I have to sit with this. This feeling that I’ll never accept and that will always frustrate and ruin what would otherwise be just fine. I am overwhelmed. I have been overwhelmed for a while, but I’ve been in denial about it. Denial is always worth a try. As with all-things-autism, it’s not as simple … Continue reading Meltdowns

Monday Meltdown

I can be really rubbish to myself sometimes. The only thing worse than a Monday Meltdown is the accompanying feeling that I really should have grown out of this. I should have grown out of reacting to a sudden change in my week’s plans. I should have grown out of needing to prepare carefully for … Continue reading Monday Meltdown

I am Finite

As an autistic adult I am aware that everyday things drain me. I have built a balanced life but that doesn’t mean imbalance doesn’t have its place too. “What I can cope with is immense. If you could feel it and stay standing you would be in awe of autistic people.”

We All Need to Work More Autistically

The other day I was at work and was hit by a revelation. It had been nagging at me for a while - I could feel that something had shifted. But I never would have predicted that I would be facing the world of work with a social advantage due to my autism. I’ve had … Continue reading We All Need to Work More Autistically

The Token Autistic

During Lockdown Number Two (the sequel to the ever-popular Lockdown Number One) I started writing a story for my daughter. I’d write a chapter during the day whilst she was homeschooling and then later on we’d snuggle up and I’d read it to her. It was our thing and it was lovely. Then the world … Continue reading The Token Autistic

Autistic Turbulence

The last couple of days have been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I am a hive of activity and then a still, mountain lake. I’m either overachieving or motionless, really happy or distraught. In the past few years when I’ve been like this it’s always been pointed out to me, but due to too … Continue reading Autistic Turbulence

Virtually Accessible Interviews

Almost three years ago to the day I wrote about a gruelling interview process that took me months to recover from. Reading through it recently it struck me how different my experience of interviewing has been during the pandemic. It’s not a perfect process and I don’t want to pretend that it’s easy, but in … Continue reading Virtually Accessible Interviews

5 Lockdown Tips to get you Through

As England is about to join Wales in a National Lockdown, I thought it might be time to write something about how this year has changed my life and how I deal with the tricky bits. Tip number 1: Focus on the good things I really struggled with this one during the first lockdown and … Continue reading 5 Lockdown Tips to get you Through

If the world were built for me

If the world were built for me there would be no start times or end times, there would just be the work that needed doing and the space in which to do it. If the world were built for me no one would ever assume poor eye contact meant low trustworthiness. If the world were … Continue reading If the world were built for me

Autistic Pride

Today is Autistic Pride day and I am contemplating what that means to me. My journey since discovering I was autistic has been one of ups and downs. I’ve had a lot of rethinking to do, a lot of processing, a ridiculous number of times exclaiming, ‘Oh that’s why I reacted like that; it was … Continue reading Autistic Pride