Autism is the Key

My husband always says you can find me in the logic. My actions are always reasoned. There's always a clear pattern to follow. What that meant, before I knew I was autistic, was that all of my logical conclusions about who I am were deeply flawed. That I misjudged and misconstrued both my own motivations, … Continue reading Autism is the Key

Stop Looking over my Shoulder!

I hate people looking over my shoulder, it's the worst. They're close and intrusive and they're stealing my actions with their eyes. It's even worse when it's me. I am so fed up of me looking over my own shoulder. She's ridiculous. I'll be messaging someone a cheery, "How's things?" And she throws in a … Continue reading Stop Looking over my Shoulder!

A Perfect Day

It's my birthday soon. My husband asked me what I'd like to do for the day. Which is a big, open question. The biggest and most open, yawning-cavern-like question, based only on my own desires. I am thinking. What would my perfect day look like? For a start it would involve a lie in. A … Continue reading A Perfect Day

International Women’s Day

It's International Women's Day, and I haven't done anything to prepare for it. I haven't made any wishes or baked a cake... there's a chance I don't know the etiquette. Perhaps instead I shall talk about autistic women and celebrate them. I'll begin with one of the reasons I started this blog (mainly so you'll … Continue reading International Women’s Day

Duvets and Bears

It's Monday. The sky is a wrinkled sheet of grey. The dawn chorus is chiding me for staying beneath my duvet just a little longer. Just as I brace myself for a change in texture, from brushed cotton to cold clothing, the rain starts to patter and I falter. Today I have made space to … Continue reading Duvets and Bears

Feelings ARE Thoughts

I've been thinking about thoughts and I've been thinking about feelings. For years I've wrongly categorised those two things. I've always seen them as two separate entities controlled by two different systems. I'm adjusting my thinking. 'Thoughts' is the umbrella term for the movement of ideas and actions around my head. Feelings I often associated … Continue reading Feelings ARE Thoughts

How to help an Autistic

Last year I was sent this wonderful Ted Talk to listen to. I wasn't sure of its relevance at first, but it soon became clear. Here it is, well worth a watch: Ernesto Sirolli: Want to help someone? Shut up and listen It got me thinking about so many of my problems, and they are all … Continue reading How to help an Autistic

Truth and Beauty

  Here's a truth for you; you don't have to have experienced something for it to be true. It's a good truth. A pure truth. A worthy truth. I experience the world through my senses. I process the world through my autism. Everything I feel and hear and see is poured into me through my … Continue reading Truth and Beauty

Red Kites and Autism

There are a pair of Red Kites that circle the skies outside my window. They flit in and out of view throughout the day, flashing their red at me, rolling in and out of air currents splendiferously. Home is where the Red Kites roll, and rock, and roll again. Thirty years ago they were a … Continue reading Red Kites and Autism

The Day my Autism Saved my Daughter’s Life

  I wrote this back in October. Then I decided not to post it. Why? Because I feared judgement.  When it happened I blamed myself. I should have been watching every second. I should have been better. I had run a risk assessment of the field: I'd noted no heights to fall from, no water to fall … Continue reading The Day my Autism Saved my Daughter’s Life