I would have built robots

When I was little I wanted to make robots. I was going to be an inventor. Robots were the future, they were going to be everything, and I was going to design them. I'd spend ages drawing pictures of different tin-cans with claws and wheels and springs. I remember being frustrated that I didn't know … Continue reading I would have built robots

Memory and Me

My brain is letting me down. It's ageing. I didn't agree to this. I didn't sign up for it. You can give me laughter lines. I'm happy for my nipples to swing like clock pendulums. You can grey my hair and fuzz my chin, but for the love of all that is holy, please leave … Continue reading Memory and Me

Diagnosis, Rain and Tractors

Why now? What brought me to diagnosis in my thirties? It began with a random article. It was about the under-diagnosis of autistic women. I had no particular reason to read that particular article. It just sounding interesting. It was just there. As I read, a tingly feeling started in the back of my neck. … Continue reading Diagnosis, Rain and Tractors

The Highs and Lows of Functionality

I want to talk about my relationship with the functionality of Autism. This is not based on research. This is not based on how I compare myself to other autistic people, and how we fit on some imaginary scale of usefulness. This is just about me. I don't like the term High Functioning. Perhaps it's … Continue reading The Highs and Lows of Functionality

Autscriptic

You don't look autistic. Yes I do. You don't act autistic though. Yes I do. Yeah, but you're not like "properly" autistic. Yes I am. You can make eye contact. Yes I can. You don't flap all the time. I do at birds. You flap at birds? I flap at birds. Why do you flap … Continue reading Autscriptic

From Brilliant to Mediocre

I used to be special. I used to be an interesting neurotypical and now I'm an everyday autistic. I'm not original after all. All those actions. All those ways of being that marked me as an oddity. All those things that both attracted and repelled people in equal measure. All those idiosyncrasies, all my inspiration, … Continue reading From Brilliant to Mediocre

Me and Disability

I've been disabled my whole life. I just didn't know it. As I tell people about my Autism diagnosis, I reassure them that nothing about me is any different. In some ways that's true. My brain has always worked the way it does now. In some ways it's not. I will now work within my … Continue reading Me and Disability

Putting the Me in Social Media

I'm not good at this. I'm putting that out there. I'm not good at social media. I'd like to blame the period I grew up in. Just before social media was huge, but not so long before, that I get a free pass from understanding it all. I love technology. I love computers. I love … Continue reading Putting the Me in Social Media

You shall not pass!

I've been thinking a lot about the invisibility of autistic adults. We see a lot of focus on autistic children, and getting them to adulthood with the skills they will need. And about parents of autistic children, and what they should do, and how they can be supported. These things are important. But it … Continue reading You shall not pass!

If the world was built for me

If the world was built for me. There would be nothing wrong with me. I would be happy and safe and certain and successful. If the world was built for me, when I met people there would be no expectation of physical contact or small talk. We may ignore each other, with a socially acceptable … Continue reading If the world was built for me