When is a Stim-Toy not a Stim-Toy?

There's been a lot of talk about annoyance at the main-streaming of stim-toys like fidget spinners. It seems like every child I know has one. In some ways it's been lovely seeing something designed for Neurodiverse people, being taken up by the mainstream. But then came the inevitable backlash, because it's a loophole in many … Continue reading When is a Stim-Toy not a Stim-Toy?

Children and Adulting and Autisming

There is a freedom that comes with having children around. It starts with their lack of expectations. Those big, round eyes don't have an idea of who I should be, they haven't developed those advanced skills of pre-conceptions and pigeonholing. Children love it when you listen. They love it when you try to answer their … Continue reading Children and Adulting and Autisming

Mother’s Day

I'm not a lover of cards. In fact I loathe them. Little demanders of time and obligation. They sit there demanding to be bought and written and sent as tokens of love. And I don't. I don't send them, because they don't mean anything to me. Particularly at set times of year. An arbitrary day … Continue reading Mother’s Day

Autism is the Key

My husband always says you can find me in the logic. My actions are always reasoned. There's always a clear pattern to follow. What that meant, before I knew I was autistic, was that all of my logical conclusions about who I am were deeply flawed. That I misjudged and misconstrued both my own motivations, … Continue reading Autism is the Key

The Day my Autism Saved my Daughter’s Life

I wrote this back in October. Then I decided not to post it. Why? Because I feared judgement. When it happened I blamed myself. I should have been watching every second. I should have been better. I had run a risk assessment of the field: I'd noted no heights to fall from, no water to fall … Continue reading The Day my Autism Saved my Daughter’s Life

Silliness

I'm hiding in the kitchen. I should probably admit that up front, just so you don't think I'm someone I'm not. Family have come round. I'm tired. There was this sudden feeling of proximity and being encroached upon. I have made my excuses, and am hiding. I don't want them all to stop interacting and … Continue reading Silliness

Autism in the Winter

I love the winter. Spaces that summer warmth fills with people, are emptied by North winds. Faces and voices are muffled by scarves and hats. Expressions are muted. People hide away in homes, or collect together in arranged huddles at Christmas markets and concerts. Groupings are pre-arranged and less organic. I'm less likely to fall … Continue reading Autism in the Winter

The Princess and the Pea was Autistic

I remember reading the story of the Princess and the Pea as a child and thinking, "I'd notice the pea". For anyone who doesn't know the story, it's a tale in which they proved someone was a Princess by placing a pea under a huge tower of mattresses. When the girl in question didn't sleep … Continue reading The Princess and the Pea was Autistic

Mirroring

There are two types of mirroring, one is instant (whether conscious or not) and the other is delayed. I remember reading up on interview techniques in my early 20s (always researching). There was a chapter about the importance of body language. It talked about mirroring and how mimicking the interviewer's body language would make them … Continue reading Mirroring

Gaslighting

Being an undiagnosed autistic has many challenges. When you compare your reactions to things with other people's, you feel like you're getting it wrong. When other people take things in their stride, and your brain feels like it's expanding inside your skull to the point you can't think, then you feel like you're overreacting. And … Continue reading Gaslighting