Autism is the Key

My husband always says you can find me in the logic. My actions are always reasoned. There's always a clear pattern to follow. What that meant, before I knew I was autistic, was that all of my logical conclusions about who I am were deeply flawed. That I misjudged and misconstrued both my own motivations, … Continue reading Autism is the Key

The Princess and the Pea was Autistic

I remember reading the story of the Princess and the Pea as a child and thinking, "I'd notice the pea". For anyone who doesn't know the story, it's a tale in which they proved someone was a Princess by placing a pea under a huge tower of mattresses. When the girl in question didn't sleep … Continue reading The Princess and the Pea was Autistic

Overcoming autism?

I often read this narrative online, "So-and-so overcame their autism and succeeded at something." It makes me feel uncomfortable. It makes me worry that one day someone might say, "Rhi overcame her autism to write", which would be to fundamentally misunderstand both me and my autism. One of the positives of autism can be … Continue reading Overcoming autism?

Gaslighting

Being an undiagnosed autistic has many challenges. When you compare your reactions to things with other people's, you feel like you're getting it wrong. When other people take things in their stride, and your brain feels like it's expanding inside your skull to the point you can't think, then you feel like you're overreacting. And … Continue reading Gaslighting

To the lonely neurotypical parent…

I saw a post today by a parent of an autistic child. It was reaching out. Reaching out for people. It spoke about the loneliness of being a neurotypical parent who wanted to connect with the people around her, but who put her autistic child's needs first, because they couldn't cope with the interactions. I … Continue reading To the lonely neurotypical parent…

Labelling

This morning my car wasn't happy, so I took my son's go-kart-in-car's-clothing on the school run. He's not passed his test yet, so it has Learner Plates on it. And oh how they make a difference to how other drivers behave around you. Most people give you a bit more space, just in case … Continue reading Labelling

Autism is a Normal Neurological Variance

What is Autism? It's a social processing condition. It's a different way of processing sensory information. It's a different way of interfacing with the world. What isn't autism? Autism isn't a learning disability. Autism doesn't mean a low or high IQ. Autism isn't a behavioural problem. Autism isn't a person trapped inside a mental cage. … Continue reading Autism is a Normal Neurological Variance

The Highs and Lows of Functionality

I want to talk about my relationship with the functionality of Autism. This is not based on research. This is not based on how I compare myself to other autistic people, and how we fit on some imaginary scale of usefulness. This is just about me. I don't like the term High Functioning. Perhaps it's … Continue reading The Highs and Lows of Functionality

Me and Disability

I've been disabled my whole life. I just didn't know it. As I tell people about my Autism diagnosis, I reassure them that nothing about me is any different. In some ways that's true. My brain has always worked the way it does now. In some ways it's not. I will now work within my … Continue reading Me and Disability

Grieving for Autism

There is a grieving process that happens after a diagnosis later in life. But it's not grieving for the autism, it's grieving for the effort that you've had to put in your whole life trying to be someone you're not. It's grief for the you that carried that huge backpack of techniques for appearing normal, … Continue reading Grieving for Autism