Author: Rhi

My head hurts and it’s a good thing

I’m not a joiner. Even when I really want to do things, I find groups hard. There is always so much going on, so many variables, so many possible ambushes - small-talk, change, new social rules - that I feel overwhelmed before I begin. How I spend my cherished energy is important, it is a … Continue reading My head hurts and it’s a good thing

In Celebration of Autistic Motherhood

Unlike unicorns and dragons and mermaids, autistic mothers are real. We don’t get a lot of media-representation, we don’t seem to fit the stereotypes, but we exist.   Motherhood and autism brings to my mind the scent of my children as they lay in my arms as babies. Just the two of us, alone in … Continue reading In Celebration of Autistic Motherhood

Hiraeth for Autism

Hiraeth pronunciation:- Hi - The Hi from Hiccup Rae - pronounced the same as the wry of a wry smile (if you pronounce wry with a rolled 'R', but let's not overcomplicate) Th - The Th from Think   Hiraeth is an untranslatable Welsh word. It’s often described as homesickness or a sort of nostalgia, … Continue reading Hiraeth for Autism

Autism Aware

In January I decided that this was the year that I would step outside my comfort zone. The secret to being able to do that, is first you have to build a comfort zone from which to step.   Being an undiagnosed autistic woman meant that I lived in the desert. I was permanently outside … Continue reading Autism Aware

Welcoming Accessibility

I am aware of my autism. Sounds are grating, they twang through my ears like over-extended elastic bands, and I wait for them to snap and hit me.   I have things to plan, and I am putting off planning them so that I don’t miss out on what is actually happening now. I don’t … Continue reading Welcoming Accessibility

Sensory Seeking

I am a sensory seeker and always have been. As a small child I was never without my comfort blanket, as I got older I was never without my scraps of “the right sort” of fabric, which I would rub between forefinger and thumb. The texture would have to be “right” and the “rightness” has … Continue reading Sensory Seeking

An Autistic Woman

What is it about being a woman that makes me happy? I don’t know if I can answer that. Being a woman just is. It carries some burdens and some joys. I’ve spoken about Bras before and how much I loathe them, I’m not sure I’ve really written much about my experience of being an … Continue reading An Autistic Woman

Spectrum Thinking

Neurotypicality is a spectrum.   Neurotypicality: a brain that works like most of the population's, i.e. not autistic or epileptic or any other kind of neurodivergent brain type   It’s not something that you usually have to state, because nobody expects people with brains that work in expected ways, to all behave identically. That would … Continue reading Spectrum Thinking

Beginnings

January swelled and fell with a clash of cymbals. I started the year with the flu. It was my own fault for waxing lyrical (I’ve never been able to work out a pattern for that particular saying, but I love the sound of it) about not getting ill at Christmas since my diagnosis. I invited … Continue reading Beginnings