Leading Questions

This is something that has been bothering me lately, it has made me angry with myself for missed opportunities. It has meant that when I have reached out at times, I have fallen at the first hurdle. I'm talking about falling for Leading Questions. They deserve to be capitalised. They are repulsive things, tricksy and … Continue reading Leading Questions

Angry or Gentle: being misunderstood

Year one post-autism-diagnosis was a year of changing how I see myself. It was a year of learning to accept my changeable limits and deciding to work with my autism instead of against it. So far, year two is about other people. Those in my immediate circle, family and friends, have begun to feel comfortable … Continue reading Angry or Gentle: being misunderstood

Autism’s Love

I am a hoarder. I should probably write a self-help book, but I'd just hoard that too. My parents were hoarders before me, so I can't just blame my neurotype. I was lucky enough to hear the wonderful Susan Kruse speak recently about her ideas on Autistics and Love. I'm going to paraphrase clumsily, but … Continue reading Autism’s Love

Autism is the Key

My husband always says you can find me in the logic. My actions are always reasoned. There's always a clear pattern to follow. What that meant, before I knew I was autistic, was that all of my logical conclusions about who I am were deeply flawed. That I misjudged and misconstrued both my own motivations, … Continue reading Autism is the Key

Stop Looking over my Shoulder!

I hate people looking over my shoulder, it's the worst. They're close and intrusive and they're stealing my actions with their eyes. It's even worse when it's me. I am so fed up of me looking over my own shoulder. She's ridiculous. I'll be messaging someone a cheery, "How's things?" And she throws in a … Continue reading Stop Looking over my Shoulder!

Duvets and Bears

It's Monday. The sky is a wrinkled sheet of grey. The dawn chorus is chiding me for staying beneath my duvet just a little longer. Just as I brace myself for a change in texture, from brushed cotton to cold clothing, the rain starts to patter and I falter. Today I have made space to … Continue reading Duvets and Bears

Red Kites and Autism

There are a pair of Red Kites that circle the skies outside my window. They flit in and out of view throughout the day, flashing their red at me, rolling in and out of air currents splendiferously. Home is where the Red Kites roll, and rock, and roll again. Thirty years ago they were a … Continue reading Red Kites and Autism

I don’t understand.

"I don't understand." I say this often. It's one of my catchphrases these days. I use it when people behave in a way that seems illogical and strange to me. I use it when I'm hurt. I don't understand why people can't let me know if they're running late. I don't understand why people don't … Continue reading I don’t understand.

The Princess and the Pea was Autistic

I remember reading the story of the Princess and the Pea as a child and thinking, "I'd notice the pea". For anyone who doesn't know the story, it's a tale in which they proved someone was a Princess by placing a pea under a huge tower of mattresses. When the girl in question didn't sleep … Continue reading The Princess and the Pea was Autistic

Mirroring

There are two types of mirroring, one is instant (whether conscious or not) and the other is delayed. I remember reading up on interview techniques in my early 20s (always researching). There was a chapter about the importance of body language. It talked about mirroring and how mimicking the interviewer's body language would make them … Continue reading Mirroring