Communication is a two-way street and when it comes to autism, it's often one-way traffic. When I say that people usually assume they know what I mean. They think I mean that autistic people are disordered and can't communicate as well as non-autistic people. That's not what I mean. Communication is one-way traffic insofar as … Continue reading How I Show Love: Autism
My autism isn't just what you can see on the surface.
True empathy means accepting an experience, even when you will never share it
I am expected to be fluent in non-autistic, but it will always be my second language.
This is something that has been bothering me lately, it has made me angry with myself for missed opportunities. It has meant that when I have reached out at times, I have fallen at the first hurdle. I'm talking about falling for Leading Questions. They deserve to be capitalised. They are repulsive things, tricksy and … Continue reading Leading Questions
Year one post-autism-diagnosis was a year of changing how I see myself. It was a year of learning to accept my changeable limits and deciding to work with my autism instead of against it. So far, year two is about other people. Those in my immediate circle, family and friends, have begun to feel comfortable … Continue reading Angry or Gentle: being misunderstood
I am a hoarder. I should probably write a self-help book, but I'd just hoard that too. My parents were hoarders before me, so I can't just blame my neurotype. I was lucky enough to hear the wonderful Susan Kruse speak recently about her ideas on Autistics and Love. I'm going to paraphrase clumsily, but … Continue reading Autism’s Love
My husband always says you can find me in the logic. My actions are always reasoned. There's always a clear pattern to follow. What that meant, before I knew I was autistic, was that all of my logical conclusions about who I am were deeply flawed. That I misjudged and misconstrued both my own motivations, … Continue reading Autism is the Key
I hate people looking over my shoulder, it's the worst. They're close and intrusive and they're stealing my actions with their eyes. It's even worse when it's me. I am so fed up of me looking over my own shoulder. She's ridiculous. I'll be messaging someone a cheery, "How's things?" And she throws in a … Continue reading Stop Looking over my Shoulder!
It's Monday. The sky is a wrinkled sheet of grey. The dawn chorus is chiding me for staying beneath my duvet just a little longer. Just as I brace myself for a change in texture, from brushed cotton to cold clothing, the rain starts to patter and I falter. Today I have made space to … Continue reading Duvets and Bears