Gaslighting

Being an undiagnosed autistic has many challenges. When you compare your reactions to things with other people's, you feel like you're getting it wrong. When other people take things in their stride, and your brain feels like it's expanding inside your skull to the point you can't think, then you feel like you're overreacting. And … Continue reading Gaslighting

I’m sorry…

Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't mean I don't still have to do the processing. I know you're sorry you're late. You've broken a small social contract, and sorry should be enough to mend it, but it's not the social contract that is troubling me. You're sorry you didn't let me know that plans had changed. You … Continue reading I’m sorry…

Neurotypical Awareness

Being diagnosed late in life has meant that I've needed to learn a lot about a new subject that I didn't know applied to me. I've read personal accounts written by autistic people, I've read research papers, I've looked into coping mechanisms - and mostly found that I've built my own solutions over the years … Continue reading Neurotypical Awareness

I don’t speak for your child

I can't speak for your child. I keep coming back to this. I can't speak for everyone. I've had a lifetime of people assuming they know what I think by my actions. Assuming that they know who I am at a glance. People still make assumptions. When I write things, those who don't want to … Continue reading I don’t speak for your child

Labelling

This morning my car wasn't happy, so I took my son's go-kart-in-car's-clothing on the school run. He's not passed his test yet, so it has Learner Plates on it. And oh how they make a difference to how other drivers behave around you. Most people give you a bit more space, just in case … Continue reading Labelling

Risks, Rules and Relationships

Looking back, with the illuminating force of my diagnosis, I can see a huge gap between what I thought was happening in my relationships, and the reality of it all. Although the following advice is universal, it's something that needs clearly stating for young people on the spectrum. Autistic people tend towards black and white … Continue reading Risks, Rules and Relationships

I’m a Bloody Bunyip! (You may have to bear with me for this one)

When I was little I had a book about a Bunyip. It was a wonderfully illustrated book about this strange feathered and furred creature, that emerged from a muddy Billabong one night and went around asking everyone it could find, "What am I? What am I?" It wandered, shunned and alone. Told it was a … Continue reading I’m a Bloody Bunyip! (You may have to bear with me for this one)

Re-thinking things through an Autistic filter

Since being diagnosed with autism in my mid-30s, I've been re-thinking a lot of things. I've spent a lifetime of trying to appear to be the same as everyone else. I've been watching. I've been studying. Every book, article, overheard conversation, brings me that little bit closer to passing for normal. I've spent a long … Continue reading Re-thinking things through an Autistic filter