Meltdown

This week I had my first meltdown in a really long time. The cause was poor communication from an organisation. It included unclear plans, a changing schedule, not being informed of those changes, and concluded in a social lie that is supposed to be an acceptable way of communicating, but is actually really painful. There’s … Continue reading Meltdown

Unwelcome Guests

I’ve welcomed in an old friend this morning, and she’s happily making herself at home. At the moment she’s lying over my chest making each breath a shallow grab.  I don’t like her, but instead of kicking her out, I’ve fed and watered her, and you know what happens when you feed someone; you make … Continue reading Unwelcome Guests

Taking or Leaving the Mask

I am a guilty masker. I’ve always masked. It’s a complex creation with different weights and different angles. Each occasion has a different variation of it, a different material, a different pattern. I have my work mask; professional, straight-backed, walking tall. She has a specific amount of makeup and specific hair. She keeps her outlandish … Continue reading Taking or Leaving the Mask

Swimming Uphill

So what’s it like spending a weekend camping at a Fringe Theatre Festival, when you’re autistic? Tiring. That’s probably the word. Tiring both physically and emotionally. I am so glad that I went, and so frustrated that I didn’t have the energy to do more, to see more, to connect more. I hadn’t been to … Continue reading Swimming Uphill

An Open and Fair Interview

There have been various intangible variables floating on my horizon, and they have been draining my reserves. I usually use those reserves to share and enthuse, and I have missed doing that.   I’m going to share something difficult. I am a perfectionist and hate to get things wrong. I am going to share a … Continue reading An Open and Fair Interview

Sensory Seeking

I am a sensory seeker and always have been. As a small child I was never without my comfort blanket, as I got older I was never without my scraps of “the right sort” of fabric, which I would rub between forefinger and thumb. The texture would have to be “right” and the “rightness” has … Continue reading Sensory Seeking

Beginnings

January swelled and fell with a clash of cymbals. I started the year with the flu. It was my own fault for waxing lyrical (I’ve never been able to work out a pattern for that particular saying, but I love the sound of it) about not getting ill at Christmas since my diagnosis. I invited … Continue reading Beginnings

Autscriptic: Mild Autism

In 2016 I wrote a post that seemed to capture people’s imagination in a way that others didn’t. Autscriptic has since been shared far and wide. It taught me that there is great power in sharing conversations between neurotypes: Laying bare the misunderstandings that tangle us up. The first Autscriptic was about the trials of … Continue reading Autscriptic: Mild Autism