There is a freedom that comes with having children around. It starts with their lack of expectations. Those big, round eyes don't have an idea of who I should be, they haven't developed those advanced skills of pre-conceptions and pigeonholing. Children love it when you listen. They love it when you try to answer their … Continue reading Children and Adulting and Autisming
Being an undiagnosed autistic has many challenges. When you compare your reactions to things with other people's, you feel like you're getting it wrong. When other people take things in their stride, and your brain feels like it's expanding inside your skull to the point you can't think, then you feel like you're overreacting. And … Continue reading Gaslighting
There have been a few articles of late about the under-diagnosis of women with autism. I've spent a lot of time nodding along. After-all, I'm late-diagnosed. I was raised with no acknowledgement of my sensory and processing issues. I'm one of the lost generations, lucky enough to be found. But sometimes the rhetoric behind it … Continue reading Hiding or Ignored?
That rule-following little girl, she really wanted to be good. She wanted to be able to eat all the food on her plate, even though the textures made her gag. She wanted to not shudder and press her ears to each shoulder in turn, every time you scraped your plate and it made that sound … Continue reading I wanted to be good
I want to talk about my relationship with the functionality of Autism. This is not based on research. This is not based on how I compare myself to other autistic people, and how we fit on some imaginary scale of usefulness. This is just about me. I don't like the term High Functioning. Perhaps it's … Continue reading The Highs and Lows of Functionality
You don't look autistic. Yes I do. You don't act autistic though. Yes I do. Yeah, but you're not like "properly" autistic. Yes I am. You can make eye contact. Yes I can. You don't flap all the time. I do at birds. You flap at birds? I flap at birds. Why do you flap … Continue reading Autscriptic
I've been thinking a lot about the invisibility of autistic adults. We see a lot of focus on autistic children, and getting them to adulthood with the skills they will need. And about parents of autistic children, and what they should do, and how they can be supported. These things are important. But it … Continue reading You shall not pass!
If the world was built for me. There would be nothing wrong with me. I would be happy and safe and certain and successful. If the world was built for me, when I met people there would be no expectation of physical contact or small talk. We may ignore each other, with a socially acceptable … Continue reading If the world was built for me
There is a grieving process that happens after a diagnosis later in life. But it's not grieving for the autism, it's grieving for the effort that you've had to put in your whole life trying to be someone you're not. It's grief for the you that carried that huge backpack of techniques for appearing normal, … Continue reading Grieving for Autism
I can hear your hackles rising from here. It's not a nice thought, is it? How do you change someone who functions in a different way enough that they can seem the same as everyone else,and should we? Does this cure the person? Does this make them better? Does this treat Autism as some kind … Continue reading How to make an Autistic person normal.